The Song of the Sow Princess

Gather round and listen to the tale I have to share and believe me it is truthful, for I assure you I was there. I had travelled far and wide to join an epic quest, after finding a flyer posted at a Princess’ behest, The Elven Princess sought allies to retake her throne. “To the land of the fairies!” suggested a wise old crone. The fairyland once was home to the elves, but her ancestors left to claim a land for themselves. The Princess sneered, thinking the fairies beneath her but help she needed, to claim the lands bequeathed her.

And so, we had travelled to a ring of toadstools, to meet with the fairies she thought of as fools, she stood in the center, rolling her eyes. Then the world grew enormous, much to our surprise! The fairies appeared as the toadstools grew large, the Princess immediately demanded to see the person in charge.

A beautiful pointy eared woman revealed herself, and although she looked it, she wasn’t a regular elf! The noble Eladrin, they called themselves. The Princess, oblivious, blurted, “I am to be Queen of All Elves!”

She exhorted her talents, her titles, and her pedigree, while the Eladrin smiled, nodded, and listened politely. The Princess believed she was perfection personified, but then she said something the Fairy Queen could not abide.

The Fairy Queen grew, as did her temper. And she launched a tirade, at the Elf Queen-contender. “You come to us, no gifts in your hands, no manners or courtesy, and making demands! We care not for your claim of elven nobility! The fairies rule here and will teach you humility!”

“Your nose that you so rudely stuck up, now a pointed snout to dig in the muck! It is your sharp elven ears turning floppy you’re feeling, all the better to hear yourself oinking and squealing! Pig-headed girl, spoilt and rotten, your once-alluring figure will soon be forgotten! No longer lithe and thin but short and plump, the hogs will crave your juicy rump! You boast and you bluster, and you puff out your chest; well, have a half-dozen more fat, jiggly breasts! Your lack of modesty you shall retain; a perfect punishment for one so vain. You’ll bare it all on all fours, from tip of nose to tip of tail, trading for shiny black trotters instead of your toes, fingers, and nails. No clothes or fur will hide a new portly frame, no drooping tail for you to hide your shame. You made demands of the fae, now you’ll live to regret it; This is your punishment, pig, and don’t you forget it!

“No more will you walk with your nose stuck up high, you’ll roll on your belly and root in a sty. A pig you now are, fitting punishment for your crime, and a pig you’ll remain for one elven lifetime!” I gasped and I said, “But elves live for hundreds of years!” The Fairy Queen shrugged, “Well, she shouldn’t have insulted my ears.”

~ “The Song of the Sow Princess”, by the Bard, Lady Courtney Wifflebottom


Story by takatouiori
Artwork by Drumstick

High resolution (4500x6000)

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